College days were absolute fun days....
In my sixth semester the college happened to organize a national level fest in which many colleges from all over india participated. Our group also started preparing for a dance parody. We were a group of some 9 people and we had practised hard for the DDay.
Our parody started and there was a huge applaud and we were performing really well.... it was amazing.
We were depicting a love story and then a marriage..
We danced on koi mil gaya ...dekha jab se tumko dekha tumko yara... and similar peppy numbers and then came my favourite song..
Janu meri jaan.....
(lovely song.....eh!)
maien ter kurbaaan...
(kya mst song hei re....full enegry into dancing now)
mein tera tu meri jane....(now the to and fro swinging of the pairs started)
(i and shivaz were to move ahead and the pair besides us had to stepbackwards...
amazing sequence we kept on dancing admist claps from the audience..)
...saaaara hindustaaaan!
(another stanza and we werer into full swing .... )now again
mein tera tu meri jaaane.....
( and only shivaz went ahead),,,,,, oink!!
and i m on the stage...
(tding...tdong..... :D :D... Humpty dumpty had a great fall).
I was there on the stage....turtle down... and i saw everyone laughing and instead of feeling bad....i was also laughing and one of my dearest frnds who was stading just besides the stage said ... "abe bas ...ab khadi to ho ja..."
and i stood up...
it all happened in a frizzy....
and i started again
...... Saaara hindustaaaan...!!
Everything was over and due to the great fall... i had some swelling in food pipe (dont ask me the connection...i donno) and coldnt swallow anything for a week.
Now next day after the big event i was coming down from the stairs in my college campus and again "Humpty dumpty had a great falll..." :D:D ..... and Oink another moment i was sitting on the last stair of the staircase ...!
The third consecutive day i was getting down from the college bus and lo....."humpty dumpt....!"
Bas i wont write more.... enough of sarcasm..!!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
What is the problem?
I donno what to do....
Even wid a crowd nowadays im alone....
I keep asking questions to me "WHY? what is disturbing you? what else do u want? are you not happy with things?"
but i get no answers....
I have screamewd on myself ..."Why the hell you dont utter anything?..." have been trying it for sometime but something tells me this wont work! :(
I tried introspection but i didnt let me survey my thought patterns..... my inner self threw me out of the gate before i could fill the questionnaire..
I m not able to look beyond things.... everything has a sheer opaqueness.... and believe me the curtain is quite heavy to lift. I have tried it myself and taken help of my friends but it falls back again....hiding everything ...it remains like a wall that i havnt been able to break!
I donno how to help myself ... can u help? can u take off this curtain or can u tell my soul to share things with me! can you? would u?
I feel like quitting everything .
Bcoz i donno one thing which is not going fine and still i donno what can give me happiness....if everything is alright then whats happening to me.
But the fact is that in the past one year there was not a single moment when i thought that im happy with what i have and whatever i am.
I am not happy with myself....
I m not feeling good ! ("everytime i say this, i tell myself to shut up but still i say it again..... my innerself forces me!" )
Something in me is missing ...WHAT IS IT !!
I donno y but im scared of life ..
Life has suddenly bcome very huge to handle ...
It was only yesterday that i was happy and i knew what will i do today, tomorrow, the next week and the next year...but now... my inner self has stopped reporting to me! He is trying to surpass me ... May be he wants to quit!
So! i feel like quitting? but quit what ?? LIFE!! i cant....i wont!
I m doing the best of work possible as i have never ever raised my expectations with myself.... but something in me says ...what the hell are you doing.?
Is this what you do to be happy? you stink...!
people tell me why dont u change the job? but i am not unhappy with it (well...even if they dont pay me so well... im fine with it).
Then quit what....??
I wanna change something but what and most importantly WHY?
do i like my wrk?
hmmmmm...no!
do i not like my work ? a bigger NO!
then what is it .... i want the answer but who can answer it... its only ME but how????
I wish some angel would appear and tell me what my problem is....
People suggest..... you should focus yourself. But focus where?
and i also donno a single thing which will giving me happiness
i donno what to do....
People say.... do an MBA! do MS!
but is this what it takes for me to be happy? "NO!"
Then what??
One of my friends said the golden words.....
"the problem is U donot have a problem "
I said "Its gr8 to know that i dont have a problem but then what is the problem?"
I am still waiting for an answer...
GOD....show me the light!
My life is standing still its not moving and i donno how to make it move
I m not able to look beyond things.... everything has a sheer opaqueness....
The problem is "what is the problem!"...can u solve it? would u?
Even wid a crowd nowadays im alone....
I keep asking questions to me "WHY? what is disturbing you? what else do u want? are you not happy with things?"
but i get no answers....
I have screamewd on myself ..."Why the hell you dont utter anything?..." have been trying it for sometime but something tells me this wont work! :(
I tried introspection but i didnt let me survey my thought patterns..... my inner self threw me out of the gate before i could fill the questionnaire..
I m not able to look beyond things.... everything has a sheer opaqueness.... and believe me the curtain is quite heavy to lift. I have tried it myself and taken help of my friends but it falls back again....hiding everything ...it remains like a wall that i havnt been able to break!
I donno how to help myself ... can u help? can u take off this curtain or can u tell my soul to share things with me! can you? would u?
I feel like quitting everything .
Bcoz i donno one thing which is not going fine and still i donno what can give me happiness....if everything is alright then whats happening to me.
But the fact is that in the past one year there was not a single moment when i thought that im happy with what i have and whatever i am.
I am not happy with myself....
I m not feeling good ! ("everytime i say this, i tell myself to shut up but still i say it again..... my innerself forces me!" )
Something in me is missing ...WHAT IS IT !!
I donno y but im scared of life ..
Life has suddenly bcome very huge to handle ...
It was only yesterday that i was happy and i knew what will i do today, tomorrow, the next week and the next year...but now... my inner self has stopped reporting to me! He is trying to surpass me ... May be he wants to quit!
So! i feel like quitting? but quit what ?? LIFE!! i cant....i wont!
I m doing the best of work possible as i have never ever raised my expectations with myself.... but something in me says ...what the hell are you doing.?
Is this what you do to be happy? you stink...!
people tell me why dont u change the job? but i am not unhappy with it (well...even if they dont pay me so well... im fine with it).
Then quit what....??
I wanna change something but what and most importantly WHY?
do i like my wrk?
hmmmmm...no!
do i not like my work ? a bigger NO!
then what is it .... i want the answer but who can answer it... its only ME but how????
I wish some angel would appear and tell me what my problem is....
People suggest..... you should focus yourself. But focus where?
and i also donno a single thing which will giving me happiness
i donno what to do....
People say.... do an MBA! do MS!
but is this what it takes for me to be happy? "NO!"
Then what??
One of my friends said the golden words.....
"the problem is U donot have a problem "
I said "Its gr8 to know that i dont have a problem but then what is the problem?"
I am still waiting for an answer...
GOD....show me the light!
My life is standing still its not moving and i donno how to make it move
I m not able to look beyond things.... everything has a sheer opaqueness....
The problem is "what is the problem!"...can u solve it? would u?
................................................................................................................................
...................................And the Arguement continues............................................
.................................................................................................................................Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Argument Continues...
The 2007 looong leave vacation started and i was all set to meet my friends.....the mission i could only start on the 8th day of my visit as my mom had plans with me everyday. On that day i called up my friend Richa on my way back from one of the window shopping visits and asked her to come over to my place for night stay.
Me: "Aja yaar, i am leaving day after tomorrow"
Richa: "mom nahi manengi yaar....chal try karti hoon"
I am on hold now... and my mom is busy selecting a water melon from the roadside vendor....and she selects a 10Kg greenie.... oh lo! I tell my mom to hold on the cell for me and i start driving the scooter....and i ask mom...."apne kitna badaa tarbuz khareeda hai, scooter bhi nahi chal raha......" and lo ji...! its not just the tarbuz ....its a nail! I turned to confiem and yes...the tyre tube had been brutally punctured by a nail!
(Well.... just after a day when i had to drag my scooter some 2 kilometers...petrol nahi tha!)
Richa: "mom Rishu ka call hai....mein jaoon?"
Mom: "Bahut late ho chuka hai.... kal din mein mil lena."
Richa: "wo kal ja rahi hai!" (kitna jhooth bolti hai)
Mom: "Itni raat ko itni dur jaegi?" (aunite ka pet shot)
Richa: "Raat? Oink?? 6:30 baje raat to aj hi hui hai"
Mom: "Acha... jaegi kaise"
Richa: "Rishu le jaegi...poochti hoon issse"
Richa: " Tu le jaegi kya?"
Me: "Mushkil hai.....!"
Richa: "Kyun?"
Me: "Puncture ho gaya hai"
Richa: "Mom uska scooter to punacture hai...wo nahi aa sakti!"
Mom: "Arre to bas kal jana"
Richa: "Kal nahi hai na wo yaha...ja rahi hai"
Mom: "Acha! phir kasie jaegi?"
My Mom: "Usko bol bus se aa jae....direct bus ati hai 3A"
Me: "3A bus pakad le aur aja"
Richa:"Ok...i will leave in 10 minutes and i will reach zirakpur*... I willl clal u when i reac there and u pick me up from there...i will be there in atmost 30 minutes. Listen! i dont have a cell phone with me,so i will give u a call from some unknown PCO number."
* Zirakpur is some 6 Kms from my house.
Me: "cool...fine!"
My Mom: "It will just take 15 minutes for her to reach...so hurry and get the puncture fixed"
I went home after puncture repair and the wait for Richa started.
Its 7:30 Now...no traces of Richa.
8:00... no calls still. My anxiety is reaching new heights every moment and the phone rings. Ah... its Richa's Mom's number."Hmmm....auntie ne mana kar diya hoga! nahi aa rahi yeho bolegi"
I took the call..
Me: "Hello"
Richa's mom: "Hello...Richa aa gayi....?"
Me: "Nahi to!"
Richa's mom: "Mujhe to bahut tension ho rahio hai"
Me:"Auntie tension mat lo"
Richa's mom: "Kaise na lun"
Me: "aa jaegi auntie...bus nahi mili hogi...kab chali wo ghar se"
Richa's mom:"6:30"
Me:"Acha...chalo...ane hi wali hogi" (i am worried but show im cool with it)
Richa's mom:"where r u"
Me:"ghar pe"
Richa's mom:"nahi u go to zirakpur and wait there"
Me:"auntie agar usne 20 sector ki bus li hogi to?"
Richa's mom:"Na! bus tu ja"
Me:"OK"
After 5minutes . (8:05 PM)
i am still at home( "what if she takes 20 sector bus...i wud have to come back again....I will wait at home"i had thought.)
Phone rings again
Richa's mom:"Richa pahunch gayi"
Me:"nahi"
Richa's mom:"mujhe bahut tension ho rahi hai"
Me:"ap tension mat lo auntie ane hi wali hai"
Richa's mom:"pata nahi kya ho gaya! use pehle hi mana kiya tha maine! "
Me:"Auntie ane wali hogi...bus kharab bhi to ho sakti hai"
Richa's mom:"theek hai uske ate hi mujhe phone kar"
Me: "Ok auntie"
Richa's mom:"Where r u!"
Me:(i am scraed of her tension now)"I am on my way to Zirakpur" (Pss...i am still in the balcony of my house)
After 2 minutes: (8:07PM)
I get ready and am about to leave home for zirakpur. Phone rings again.
Richa's mom:"Richa a gayi"
Me:"nahi"
Richa's mom:"tu kahan hai"
Me:"zirakpur mein" (:D...i dont drive u know...i fly...)
Richa's mom:"mujhe to bahut tension ho rahi hai"
Me:"tension mat lo auntie"
Richa's mom:"mujhe to attack hone wala hai"
Me:(8:07 hi to hue hai)
Me: "aunite ane wali hogi wo".
Auntie puts the phone down.... and i set out for Zirakpur at a ligthening speed.
i am there and still i dont see Richa there.
Well...the phone rings again...
Richa's mom:"mujhe to attack hone wala hai"
Me:"Attack?"
Richa's mom:"haan...attack"
Richa's mom:"abhi tak nahi pahunchi....pata nahi kahan chali gayi"
Me:"Auntie local number se call aa raha hai...richa ka hi hoga"
i disconnect ...
take the waiting call.....Richa is online
Richa: " Kahan hai tu"
and we discuss the location and finally meet....
Me: "itni der laga di...kahan thi tu? auntie ne meri watt laga di"
Richa: "yaar galat bus le li thi..."
Me: "phir bhi itni der?"
Richa: "raste mein bhi problem ho gayi thi?"
Me: "kya hua?"
Richa: "puncture "
Me: "ok ok"
Me: "par itni bhi der kya lag gayi?"
Richa: "Yaar jab bus dabwali ke pas pahunchi na...tab.."
Me: "DABWALI!!!! abe wo to yahan se kuch 30 km dur jai.... tu wahan kaise pahunch gayi?"
Richa: "3C wahi se hoke jati hai....."
Me: "Amritsar bhi ghoom ati!"
Richa: "Acha ab sun to!"
Me: "haan bol"
Richa: "jab bus dabwali ke pas bahunchi to railway phatak tha... wahan pe bus ruki rahi.. Puncture ho gaya tha na"
Me: "bus ka na...tune bataya na abhi..."
Richa: "Ab ebus ka nahi..."
Me: "To phir?"
Richa: "train ka....."
Me: "bhaang to nahi pi li raste mein?"
Richa: "Nahi wahan sab log yehi keh rahe the......mazak nahi sach mein. Maine ek auntie se poocha ki ab age kaise ja sakte hain to bole ki train mein chad ke doosri side ja ke bus leni hogi....aur panchkula kuch 30 km door hai....."
Me: "par train me to iron wheels hote hain na?"
Richa: "shayad kuch naya aya hoga.....par puncture to hua tha..."
Phone rings...
Richa's mom's call again...
Me: "auntie...aa gayi hai wo yahan...."
Richa's mom: "baat kara..."
here starts the 'attack' wali scolding and the puncture story again.....
and im relaxed ,.....Richa is here and there is no possibilty of Attack. Phewww..!
Me: "Aja yaar, i am leaving day after tomorrow"
Richa: "mom nahi manengi yaar....chal try karti hoon"
I am on hold now... and my mom is busy selecting a water melon from the roadside vendor....and she selects a 10Kg greenie.... oh lo! I tell my mom to hold on the cell for me and i start driving the scooter....and i ask mom...."apne kitna badaa tarbuz khareeda hai, scooter bhi nahi chal raha......" and lo ji...! its not just the tarbuz ....its a nail! I turned to confiem and yes...the tyre tube had been brutally punctured by a nail!
(Well.... just after a day when i had to drag my scooter some 2 kilometers...petrol nahi tha!)
Richa: "mom Rishu ka call hai....mein jaoon?"
Mom: "Bahut late ho chuka hai.... kal din mein mil lena."
Richa: "wo kal ja rahi hai!" (kitna jhooth bolti hai)
Mom: "Itni raat ko itni dur jaegi?" (aunite ka pet shot)
Richa: "Raat? Oink?? 6:30 baje raat to aj hi hui hai"
Mom: "Acha... jaegi kaise"
Richa: "Rishu le jaegi...poochti hoon issse"
Richa: " Tu le jaegi kya?"
Me: "Mushkil hai.....!"
Richa: "Kyun?"
Me: "Puncture ho gaya hai"
Richa: "Mom uska scooter to punacture hai...wo nahi aa sakti!"
Mom: "Arre to bas kal jana"
Richa: "Kal nahi hai na wo yaha...ja rahi hai"
Mom: "Acha! phir kasie jaegi?"
My Mom: "Usko bol bus se aa jae....direct bus ati hai 3A"
Me: "3A bus pakad le aur aja"
Richa:"Ok...i will leave in 10 minutes and i will reach zirakpur*... I willl clal u when i reac there and u pick me up from there...i will be there in atmost 30 minutes. Listen! i dont have a cell phone with me,so i will give u a call from some unknown PCO number."
* Zirakpur is some 6 Kms from my house.
Me: "cool...fine!"
My Mom: "It will just take 15 minutes for her to reach...so hurry and get the puncture fixed"
I went home after puncture repair and the wait for Richa started.
Its 7:30 Now...no traces of Richa.
8:00... no calls still. My anxiety is reaching new heights every moment and the phone rings. Ah... its Richa's Mom's number."Hmmm....auntie ne mana kar diya hoga! nahi aa rahi yeho bolegi"
I took the call..
Me: "Hello"
Richa's mom: "Hello...Richa aa gayi....?"
Me: "Nahi to!"
Richa's mom: "Mujhe to bahut tension ho rahio hai"
Me:"Auntie tension mat lo"
Richa's mom: "Kaise na lun"
Me: "aa jaegi auntie...bus nahi mili hogi...kab chali wo ghar se"
Richa's mom:"6:30"
Me:"Acha...chalo...ane hi wali hogi" (i am worried but show im cool with it)
Richa's mom:"where r u"
Me:"ghar pe"
Richa's mom:"nahi u go to zirakpur and wait there"
Me:"auntie agar usne 20 sector ki bus li hogi to?"
Richa's mom:"Na! bus tu ja"
Me:"OK"
After 5minutes . (8:05 PM)
i am still at home( "what if she takes 20 sector bus...i wud have to come back again....I will wait at home"i had thought.)
Phone rings again
Richa's mom:"Richa pahunch gayi"
Me:"nahi"
Richa's mom:"mujhe bahut tension ho rahi hai"
Me:"ap tension mat lo auntie ane hi wali hai"
Richa's mom:"pata nahi kya ho gaya! use pehle hi mana kiya tha maine! "
Me:"Auntie ane wali hogi...bus kharab bhi to ho sakti hai"
Richa's mom:"theek hai uske ate hi mujhe phone kar"
Me: "Ok auntie"
Richa's mom:"Where r u!"
Me:(i am scraed of her tension now)"I am on my way to Zirakpur" (Pss...i am still in the balcony of my house)
After 2 minutes: (8:07PM)
I get ready and am about to leave home for zirakpur. Phone rings again.
Richa's mom:"Richa a gayi"
Me:"nahi"
Richa's mom:"tu kahan hai"
Me:"zirakpur mein" (:D...i dont drive u know...i fly...)
Richa's mom:"mujhe to bahut tension ho rahi hai"
Me:"tension mat lo auntie"
Richa's mom:"mujhe to attack hone wala hai"
Me:(8:07 hi to hue hai)
Me: "aunite ane wali hogi wo".
Auntie puts the phone down.... and i set out for Zirakpur at a ligthening speed.
i am there and still i dont see Richa there.
Well...the phone rings again...
Richa's mom:"mujhe to attack hone wala hai"
Me:"Attack?"
Richa's mom:"haan...attack"
Richa's mom:"abhi tak nahi pahunchi....pata nahi kahan chali gayi"
Me:"Auntie local number se call aa raha hai...richa ka hi hoga"
i disconnect ...
take the waiting call.....Richa is online
Richa: " Kahan hai tu"
and we discuss the location and finally meet....
Me: "itni der laga di...kahan thi tu? auntie ne meri watt laga di"
Richa: "yaar galat bus le li thi..."
Me: "phir bhi itni der?"
Richa: "raste mein bhi problem ho gayi thi?"
Me: "kya hua?"
Richa: "puncture "
Me: "ok ok"
Me: "par itni bhi der kya lag gayi?"
Richa: "Yaar jab bus dabwali ke pas pahunchi na...tab.."
Me: "DABWALI!!!! abe wo to yahan se kuch 30 km dur jai.... tu wahan kaise pahunch gayi?"
Richa: "3C wahi se hoke jati hai....."
Me: "Amritsar bhi ghoom ati!"
Richa: "Acha ab sun to!"
Me: "haan bol"
Richa: "jab bus dabwali ke pas bahunchi to railway phatak tha... wahan pe bus ruki rahi.. Puncture ho gaya tha na"
Me: "bus ka na...tune bataya na abhi..."
Richa: "Ab ebus ka nahi..."
Me: "To phir?"
Richa: "train ka....."
Me: "bhaang to nahi pi li raste mein?"
Richa: "Nahi wahan sab log yehi keh rahe the......mazak nahi sach mein. Maine ek auntie se poocha ki ab age kaise ja sakte hain to bole ki train mein chad ke doosri side ja ke bus leni hogi....aur panchkula kuch 30 km door hai....."
Me: "par train me to iron wheels hote hain na?"
Richa: "shayad kuch naya aya hoga.....par puncture to hua tha..."
Phone rings...
Richa's mom's call again...
Me: "auntie...aa gayi hai wo yahan...."
Richa's mom: "baat kara..."
here starts the 'attack' wali scolding and the puncture story again.....
and im relaxed ,.....Richa is here and there is no possibilty of Attack. Phewww..!
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